It’s about acceptance, not just about getting over it

“How do I deal with a breakup” - Savager

“I miss my ex” - weezer

Dear Savager and weezer, 

We form many relationships, regardless of what type of relationships they may be – be it with people you care about or even your belongings. We rely a lot on our social lives, hence the relationships we form have an exceptional spot in our lives. When you form a relationship with someone you care deeply about, that relationship is exceedingly important to you, and its meaning becomes central to your everyday life. Therefore, as these meanings become intertwined with your perception of who you are, there often is an overwhelming feeling of loss and yearning when the relationship and meaning are lost.

As such, one should avoid wallowing in these feelings of yearning and loss, and instead look back on past experiences in relationships as milestones and accomplishments in life. You do not have to force yourself to get over your past relationship and “revert to normal” or “get your old life back”. Instead, know that acceptance is key. Accept and see the relationship for what it was. There are diverse reasons as to why a relationship cannot continue, however it is central that relationships are often looked back on through tinted lenses. Avoid casting a wide net when looking back on a relationship, “The relationship was perfect, why can’t it just continue?”. Consider looking at the small things that mattered, and appreciate these things that happened. 

One thing you can consider doing through your process of finding closure is spending time with people who truly care about you. While this is a very common piece of advice, it is helpful in replenishing a meaning in life. By forming connections with people who care about you, you can foster different relationships from the one you’ve lost, and rewrite that meaning that may have been lost in your daily life. 

“You can’t start to rebuild meaning in your life until you take the time to cultivate relationships that are separate and distinct from your old relationship and your old self.” – Mark Manson, How to Get Over Someone and Move On With Your Life

At the end of it all, it is a process of healing from a lost relationship, and not a destination. Be patient, have an open mindset, and you can do it.

This blog was made with reference to: https://markmanson.net/how-to-get-over-someone 

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Toxic Ex? Thank You, Next!

3 Things to do to Distract Yourself From a Breakup

Breakups can be tough. Instead of crying over that one person, channel that energy on activities that can make you spark joy again. Here are three ways you can distract yourself and come back stronger after a breakup.

1. Bye Bye Ex (Axe) 

Sometimes you just need to release all that pent-up emotion. And what better way to release your inner emotions by launching your axe at a target? Axe throwing offers some mental health benefits, including stress relief and relaxation.

Be sure to go to a reputable venue to ensure that it is a safe and controlled environment.

In Singapore, Axe Factor located in Sentosa is a highly recommended spot.

2. Reconnect With Nature 

After a tough situation many people would say to reconnect with nature. 

Spending time in nature is said to recharge your body mentally and emotionally, reduce anxiety and generate positive emotions such as calmness and joy.

Consider going on a hike with someone you can pour your heart out to. Singapore has many wonderful nature spots. One of the hiking trails you can consider are the MacRitchie trails. There are plenty of trails to explore, with various lengths and difficulty. 

If walking isn’t your thing, try cycling! Enjoy the scenic views from East Coast Park to Marina Bay Sands. Play upbeat pop music while cycling to feel an energy boost. 

Pick an activity and bring along a close friend. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to and fresh air. 

3. Post Break-up Glow-Up 

Need your ex to regret losing a gem (aka you)? Time for a glow up. Head down to the vibrant thrifting hot spot: Haji Lane and its neighbouring areas. Lined with many unique thrift shops, you can definitely find something for you. Experiment with new styles and find pieces that would make you feel confident again. When you look good, you feel good. Don’t forget to be the baddie you have always been. 😎 

It’s just an ex. Remember this: Why give 1 guy 30 chances when you can give 30 guys 1 chance? A leopard never changes its spots. Recognise your worth and do not rush into a new relationship.

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Happy National Day! Wishing the Nation a Wonderful 60 Years and More Ahead!

From Dialy365 Team